...focusing on Yeshua, the initiator and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame; and He has taken His seat at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2 TLV)
Upon looking back at the last four years now of being a lung cancer survivor, I observe there are often silver linings in the midst of pain. For the first year, I wanted my life back just as it had been before cancer-without the loss & grief that critical illness brought into my life. But looking now at who I am today, I realize I like myself much better than I used to!
When you are given a 16% chance of survival, there isn't much time for pretense any more. Just simple living with real raw feelings & relationships that are truly meaningful in life. No wasted efforts spent on things that are not enjoyable or important- only time pursuing what really matters to me in life and gratitude everyday for the big and small pleasures that come.
I have many imperfections, just as before cancer, but am better able now to let GRACE do its work within me and not strive in my own vain efforts....
Not I, but CHRIST is the author & finisher in my life!
I think Milton expresses it well in the words below:
That he, the Supreme Good, to whom all things ill
Are but as slavish officers of vengeance,
Would send a glistering guardian, if need were
To keep my life and honour unassailed.
Was I deceived, or did a sable cloud
Turn forth her silver lining on the night?
I did not err; there does a sable cloud
Turn forth her silver lining on the night,
And casts a gleam over this tufted grove.