A beautifully expressed account of living and dying...

As a Stage IV lung cancer survivor, I could very much relate to many thoughts the author expresses in this book. The following is a touching example:
"Time for me is now double-edged: every day brings me further from the low of my last relapse but closer to the next recurrence—and, eventually, death. Perhaps later than I think, but certainly sooner than I desire. There are, I imagine, two responses to that realization. The most obvious might be an impulse to frantic activity: to “live life to its fullest,” to travel, to dine, to achieve a host of neglected ambitions. Part of the cruelty of cancer, though, is not only that it limits your time; it also limits your energy, vastly reducing the amount you can squeeze into a day. It is a tired hare who now races. And even if I had the energy, I prefer a more tortoise-like approach. I plod, I ponder."
This book is beautifully written and full of the candor of a man who knew and appreciated the life he was given.

When Breath Becomes Air https://www.amazon.com/dp/081298840X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_xnK0xbK4SJ8HG

3 Gifts That Might Never Have Been

                               #1000Gifts    #JoyDare

3 Gifts That Might Never Have Been

1.  A Life Restored:  One simple prayer "God help me" from a heart devastated by abuse, divorce, alcohol, drugs, and poor choices.... Healing begun through Christ's unconditional love and the love of His servant , my new godly husband.   33 1/2 years later  I thank you, Lord, for the healed heart you  gave and loving helpmate you placed by my side.

2.  A Life Blessed:  The call came saying something was wrong with test results... A genetic specialist visit was scheduled.   At the ensuing consultation my daughter was told "We are advising you to abort this child, she will be born with severe deformities."    
A young mother's decision to trust God... She  said:  "Mom, please pray, this baby is going to live and we are going to love her however she is "
A beautiful baby girl born healthy and bringing sweet blessings of joy to many !!!   Fifteen years later she is a bright beautiful young lady full of love for Christ and others.   Her name is Abigail  - meaning ' Father's Delight' .

3.  A Life Renewed:     3 years of surgeries. chemotherapy , pain, weakness..... Grief over  physical abilities lost,  life activities taken for granted in the past that can no longer can be experienced.... A poor prognosis given and subtle suggestions that hospice plans may be needed soon
Then
A surprising gift of healing , new clarity of mind , and renewed strength!
I do not know how long this new time will last but I will cherish each minute of it.... Each unexpected pleasure it brings....the return again of relaxing fun afternoons drinking coffee and shopping with friends, walks in the park...
Even cleaning and cooking times that I thought my body would never be strong enough for again!

"The Lord is my shepherd.  I will always have everything I need.  He gives me green pastures to lie in.
He leads me by calm pools of water.  He restores my strength.  He leads me on right paths to show that He is good.
Even if I walk through a valley as dark as the grave, I will not be afraid of any danger, because you are with me.
Your rod and staff comfort me.
You prepared a meal for me in front of my enemies.
You welcomed me as an honored guest.
My cup is full and spilling over.
Your goodness and mercy will be with me all my life,
and I will live in the Lord's house a long long time."
Psalm 23 ERV

Thank You, Lord

Today is my birthday (December 19th). It means more to me this year than it ever has in the past. That's because I have been numbered in the "Walking Dead" for sometime now....(2 x lung cancer survivor)

Last summer my oncologist told me that medicine could do nothing more for me and when my cancer comes back ( not 'if' but 'when') that I will most likely suffer a painful death. He concluded that appointment by saying I needed to see him again this coming January. When I asked why I needed to come back if there was nothing else which could be done, he responded that I needed to come so we "could make plans" (hospice care)...

As I am one who usually chooses to face things 'head on', I decided to go ahead and get that dreaded appointment over with before Christmas instead of waiting until January 10th. It is hard to describe the feelings you have as you sit in a doctor's office waiting to see if this will be the last Christmas on earth that you spend with your family ... a surreal experience as some reading this well know since you are going through similar situations.

I think perhaps to my doc's surprise, this visit however turned out to be one of rejoicing since my X-Ray looked good!!! No cancer was showing up on the screen!!! God has chosen for me to stay around for a little longer :). 

I can honestly say I feel better than I have felt in several years! My days are packed full right now with lots of fun things: shopping & lunches with friends, Christmas parties, holiday baking, and lovely Southern winter walks with my husband.... I have no problems breathing even though the rest of my left lung was removed last spring! As a matter of fact, I feel so good that it sometimes seems like cancer was just a bad dream ~I feel so normal It's hard to comprehend at times that I'm suppose to not have long to live !

I have lived facing my impending death on a daily basis now for several years and have noticed some real advantages :

1. Each day is a new opportunity to trust God that HE loves me more than I can possibly imagine and knows best for my future.

2. Gratitude for my life, family, and friends comes easier to me now.

3. I don't waste as much time stressing about things or circumstances or people not being to my liking :)

4. If I don't feel like doing something I don't do it and if I'm tired I rest. It is much easier than it used to be to just slow down and enjoy life!

5. Cancer has brought new friends into my life that are absolutely amazing and enrich my life greatly ( example. @texaspinkfox )

6. I use the good china now, go on the adventures I was always putting off before until I "Had more time", and I see the good in people much easier than I used to :)

I am not going to pretend that life is easy all the time... I have a catscan again this spring along with another one of those dreaded doctor's appointments. But when the time does come for relocation to my Heavenly Home I hope to rest in perfect peace and confidence that our faithful Savior is and will always be with me helping me through whatever challenges I face-HE sure has so far!!!!

A very big part of me doing so splendidly right now is the army of prayer warriors who are continually praying for me and the love, support and encouragement from family and friends which fills me with hope and joy everyday!!!

If you are one of them please know how dear you are to me and how very much I appreciate you!!! Without your prayers, love, and support I might have given up a long time ago!!!!

This is such a wonderful Christmas for me and my family this year and I pray daily that it is for you and yours as well <3

Only Love

                     
  Only Love by heartfinds

I have just returned from my chemport irrigation at the hospital.  Cancer was a word that I never expected in my life and along with it came many other unexpected and unfamiliar words like 'chemport'. 

A chemotherapy port (or chemport) is a device placed under the surface of a patient's skin to allow easy access to organs or the circulatory system for chemotherapy drugs. Chemotherapy can often be harsh on skin and veins. The insertion of a central venous  port helps protect the patient's body from unnecessary damage to peripheral veins in the arms and legs. I have a type of chemoport called a  CV-port which  is inserted into the central venous vein below the collarbone.

I recently underwent a lung scan and received the wonderful news that I am cancer free!  But they did not remove my chemport.  So every six weeks, when I go to have it irrigated, I have a real and fresh reminder that life is precious and a gift from GOD.  That each day should be one of THANKSGIVING, TRUST AND HOPE in CHRIST.

I read a devotion today that very aptly describes what I believe shoud be my outlook as I continue on in this walk of TRUST and FAITH in the only ONE that can give me what I truly need to walk in JOY and PEACE each day.

The following are excerpts from DAY 22 of Lyn Eib's devotional called 50 DAYS OF HOPE:

ALREADY A SURVIVOR

So when do you know that you or your loved one is a cancer survivor?  When the scan comes back clear?  When the tumor marker is normal?  When the treatment is finished?  When there's no evidence of any cancer?  I was diagnosed June 26, 1990 (Lyn Eib)  with Stage 3 colon cancer.  I am still cancer-free and count myself as a very blessed survivor.

But even if the cancer had returned, I would still count myself as a survivor because I agree with National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship when it labels cancer patients as survivors " from the moment of diagnois and for the balance of life".

I didn't always think that way. 

I used to think that if you lived five years cancer - free after a diagnosis, you were a cured cancer survivor. 

I remember going in for my five-year oncology checkup in the summer of 1995....and gleefully announcing to him that I wouldn't be seeing him professionally anymore.  (I'm not quite sure how I got that notion, but I hear many others say the same kind of thing,  We've probably made that association because statisticians often give data on five year survival rates for different types of cancer.)

"Where did you get that idea?" Marc responded.

"It's five years; I'm cured!" I told him, surprised that he didn't realize it was a momentous day.

"Well, the chance the cancer  will return has diminished greatly, but you still need to be checked for the rest of your life", Marc soberly explained.

Talk about bursting someone's bubble!

I had waited five years to be proclaimed a cancer survivor, and there was going to be no such official announcement.

Thankfully, a short time after that day, I read the above mentioned survivorship definition from the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship and proclaimed myself a survivor.

So I hope you're not waiting for some mythical five-year mark to earn the label of cancer survivor.  Anyone who has survived even one minute since diagnosis already is a survivor!  Believe it!

I love watching and listening to those survivors in my support group who have medically incurable cancer but still find much happiness.  Because of their circumstances, others might say these folks have the right to be fairly fearful.  But these 'incurable' survivors have come to realize-as have those of us who are cured-that we don't need the right circumstances to be happy.

It's important what you believe about yourself and your loved ones.  When I finished treatment for my cancer, the odds the cancer would come back were greater than the odds it wouldn't. That doesn't sound like a situation that would make a person very happy.  But what I believed about my circumstances did give me joy. 

I believed the truth that I was already a cancer survivor.

As he thinks within himself, so he is.    Proverbs 23:7 NASB

And I believed the truth that nothing, including cancer and it's treatment, can diminish God's great love for me.

I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love.  Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.  Romans 8:38

I also believed the truth that God didn't need good odds to heal me, that there are people everywhere surviving despite their odds.

Nothing is impossible with God.   Luke 1:37

You and your loved ones have survived a cancer diagnosis.  God obviously has plans for your life or you wouldn't still be here.  Ask HIM to shine HIS light on your path, and then don't be afraid to follow where HE leads.

Will you pray from Psalm 119:105-107 with me?
Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.  I've promised it once,  and I'll promise it again:  I will obey your wonderful laws.  I have suffered much, O Lord; restore my life again, just as you promised.  Amen.

Different is Beautiful

I recently joined Polyvore, a fun site where one can express themselves through pictures and words.  I just won second place there in the DIFFERENT IS BEAUTIFUL Contest for a set I put together expressing my feelings about the loss of my hair through chemotherapy.  What I thought was going to be a great tragedy has ended up being something positive in my life!  Isn't that the way GOD always does it?  HE takes the bad things and uses them for HIS purposes and truly creates beauty from pain!

To see the Different is Beautiful entries click the link below:
Different is Beautiful - Winners on polyvore.com

That Thing Called Cancer

After removal of a lung lobe, medical complications and months of chemotherapy,  I recently began returning to the life activities I enjoyed  before that fateful  "you've got cancer" phone call.   This re-entry road has not been as smooth as I thought it would be though.  There are new and unique challenges I was not expecting.  God's provision was so great during my long year of recovery that I found myself feeling guilty recently when, at times, I seemed to not 'have it all together'.  Hijacked by a a flood of emotions, there have been days in which I have felt as if I were sinking fast.    50 DAYS OF HOPE came into my hands a few weeks ago though and it has helped so much!

This book gets down to ground zero-where all the grief, anxiety, fear and anger linger.  It helps bring the struggler to the only true source of HOPE.  Full of Scriptures, stories and insights, Lyn Eib's book points to Christ, HIS personal promises to us, and aides in making the right choices in thought patterns and attitudes. 

Have you or a loved one recently been diagnosed with cancer?  50 DAYS OF HOPE is a book you need!

Are you a cancer survivor who is finding your way from a life of anxiety and  fear to one full of thanksgiving and joy?  50 Days OF HOPE will help you get there!

That thing called cancer will not rob me of the peace and joy God intends for my life!!!
Another one of God's loving provisions has come to me in the form of 50 DAYS OF HOPE.
As usual HIS timing is perfect!

Tyndale House Publishers provided me with a complimentary copy of this book. 

To look inside the book click on the link below:
50 Days of Hope: Daily Inspiration for Your Journey through Cancer

AMAZING GRACE

I have not posted here in awhile....in fact for several months.  My life took a sudden turn at the end of last summer when I received an unexpected phone call one day.  I was just returning from a delightful lunch with friends at a quaint little place called PORCHES when my cell phone rang.   That call changed my life as it began a journey of recovery from lung cancer...
I coped with the news and subsequent needed medical procedures well for the first couple of months....full of faith and confidence that GOD would take care of things and that I would soon return to my normal busy life.  Recuperating from surgery and then facing chemo eventually tested my faith in GOD in ways I could not have  possibly imagined.  Grief, anger, frustration and the big ones: anxiety and fear overwhelmed me when my physical challenges did not end in the time frame I had pictured.  The unshakeable belief I thought I had in GOD's love and protection were suddenly in shambles and I felt like I had lost myself....wondering who it was I had become!   Our LORD was there though the whole time...just waiting for me to quit looking at circumstances and look to HIS PROMISES & TRUTHS.  The peace and joy I had lost came flooding back as I finally worshiped and sought intimacy in the stillness HE was providing for me.   I realized that this was a special time to spend with HIM in quiet and rest allowing HIM to pour into me new things that I needed in my life. 

In the Bible GOD tells us over a hundred times to not fear!   He knows that we have a human tendency to do just that so HE provides help to overcome anxiety.  In Phillippians 4:6-8  a formula is provided:
1.  Talk to GOD about everything. Talk to him as your best friend.  Unlike people HE doesn't get overburdened...HE can handle all your cares!!! HE never tires of listening to you!!!
2.  Tell GOD what you need (supplication).  James 4:2 says we don't have because we won't ask.  Matthew 21:22 tells us: "Whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."  Be bold and tell HIM!!!
3.  Give GOD thanks for all HE has already done.  Does that mean we thank HIM for the horrible situation we may be facing?  No, but it does mean we thank HIM because HE has already done what is necessary to help us.  Christ died on that cross and rose again.  HE will supply all our needs (see Phil. 4:19), not just some of them.  Give thanks it is already done!!!
4.  Believe GOD can help you.  HE has promised us and GOD doesn't break promises like man....you must trust HIM to be true to HIS WORD!
5.  Meditate on the positive and true things of GOD.  Phillipians 4:8 tells us what kinds of things to meditate upon.  What are true things?  The things GOD has promised us.  When we do this, the promise is we will have the peace of GOD, and our hearts and minds will be guarded. 

Worship your Creator who wants to hear your cares and reassure you how much HE truly loves you.  No matter what you may be anxious about tell GOD and work the formula.  You will experience HIS AMAZING GRACE and find peace!!!